Political Underwear Monthly
DATELINE: KATMANDU. FRIDAY, JUNE ?, 2008
NOTES FROM ME TO YU FROM KATMANDU; OR, YU CAN'T KEEP THE JUNK
OUT OF THIS POLITICAL JUNKIE'S TRUNK.
BUBBA Bill was a pill upside down on the window sill. Is BUBBA Bill still a pill upside down on the window sill? We're still yakking it up here in Katmandu but yesterday a very nice Katmandurion shared with me his miraculously obtained copy of yesterday's New York Times. There on the front page were Adam Nagourney and Jeff Zeleny letting us know that in OBAMA and HILLARY'S unity efforts, the 'thorniest' question is what to do with BUBBA who continues to relive the primaries. So; time to help BUBBA deal, or get him out of the picture entirely.
Should we:
1) Send BUBBA to Zimbabwe? (Not an entirely ridiculous idea.)
2) Appoint BUBBA to head up MAC'S veep search team? Then he can switch parties, pull a 'Cheney' and end up as MAC'S running mate. Then, what if O chose H to run with him. Soap operas pale before that scenario. And once again Cable TV's hectoring heads would be so beside themselves they wouldn't know whether to s--t or go swimming.
3) Send BUBBA to rehab; preferably The Jesse Jackson Clinic for Not-so-Closet Racists.
4) Send BUBBA to Inward Bound for some serious soul searching.
5) Or BUBBA could start his own business called 'BUBBAGUM'. He of course would be not only CEO, CFO etc, but spokesman so he could star in all the ads. That might keep him occupied and out of HILLARY'S hair for a day or two.
Today's Unity Rally was really uniful. HILLARY sounded more real than before she started the campaign and she managed to pare back her stump speech to a minimum. After both she and OBAMA spoke they engaged in a half-hearted hug but then fortunately moved to reasonably warm and fuzzy. From here on in though they have to campaign separately because even supercynical I got a tad misty over how well H & O looked together and found myself having the occasional veepish thought about H. The only glitch was the huge sign in the background placed poorly so that it read "UNTTY". Oh well.
WEATHER REPORT: Mostly thunderful and ongoing.
RECIPE: Catmandufish
Sidebar: The official name of the Katmandusian constitution is: Katmando's and Don'ts.
I WILL BE TRAVELING IN KATMANDU FOR A FEW WIFI-LESS WEEKS BUT
PROMISE TO RETURN WITH MANY NEW AND EXCITING KATMANDUIAN RECIPES
AND WEATHER REPORTS. MEANWHILE, A FEW THOUGHTS....
Because the media doesn't have SHRILLARY to kick around anymore, they're nevertheless going to keep the issue alive by discussing 'mongst themselves whether she was treated fairly by themselves. One comment I heard was that she often became "shrill" when she spoke. Well, so did Howard Dean when he screamed. Get over it already. In fact some of the media have moved on, albeit reluctantly and not far enough.
So. Nice finally concession speech HILLARY. We'll see whether you do any serious campaigning for OBAMA starting yesterday, or are you still tied up drying BUBBA's tears? Or are you waiting to start campaigning only if you're offered the Veep gig? Speaking of which, I'm sorry that O (or someone) made the mistake of heading the vetting committee with Jim Johnson. If O and his people can't even locate clean vetters what are they going to come up with for the actual positions for which they're vetting people.
Here's a suggestion for an O ad:
Camera pans in on a gas station where an assortment of people (representing each voting bloc) are filling up their cars. The sign on top of the pump says, "Regular: $14.95; Extra: $15.29 and Diesel: $20.99". The stressed out pumpers are sporting facial expressions running the gamut from gritted teeth to outright sobbing. One pumper, wearing a blue collar and white skin, simply slides to the ground in a faint. Camera pans to another pump where MAC, smile hung from one ear and oblivious to the angst going on around him is filling up his red, white and blue SAV (Sports Attack Vehicle). Voice over: "MAC doesn't want to tax big oil profits." Might even want to have H in the ad filling up her motor scooter and wearing OBAMA buttons all over her pantsuit.
Happy Birthday Marie!
DATELINE: NORMANDY, FRANCE: JUNE 6, 2008
(Huge Hat tip to all of you who fought for all of us.)
BEWARE OF THE PERSON WHO HAS NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE
(Old Iriquois adage)
Wonderful Wednesday was wonderful. Finally, at last, BUT is it really over? Didn't hear HILLARY concede much of anything the other night. Maybe she conceded when I was in the kitchen rustling up some Ripples. However, H has stated that she may ask for a roll call vote at the convention so that her "historic" run will be forever memorialized. As what? For whom? (Besides H & BUBBA.) No, H wants the threat of a wild west convention complete with roll call votes and the occasional fisticuffs and the specter of a Party Train Wreck hanging over the Superdellphonics so that they can be softened up and more susceptible to cajoling, prodding, poking and downright threats.
So, presumably H and O made nice during their private (staff-free, knee to knee) meeting Friday morning. I assume that the meeting was scheduled so that the Media would take note, loudly. leggily and lengthily so that the rest of us out here in the great unwashed would know what we were supposed to be thinking. As to what happened in that mighty meeting; I think H & O played double solitaire for a while, which must have driven BUBBA on his knees (again) with an ear glued to the door crazy since he couldn't hear anything. Finally, after 'accidentally' upending the card table, H said:
"Oh please, oh please, oh please pick me for your Veep!" To which OBAMA responded:
"No way HILLARAY!"
End of meeting and hopefully end of story.
If O's Veep-vetting Gang of Three; Caroline Kennedy, Jim Johnson (whom I knew when he was at the Woodrow Wilson School in Princeton) and Eric Holder know what they're doing, they'll choose Chuck Hagel to run with O. Not only is Hagel cute, but he's white, a Vietnam vet, has senatorial experience and is certainly capable of strutting the requisite national security stuff which MAC will make de rigeur during the campaign. In sum, Hagel could out-MAC MAC. If O goes with a woman, H's cadre of angry women of a certain age would either stay madder and stay home, or if they really believed all that bosh about misogynists doing their gal in, they'd be thrilled with O's choice.
Yes, I know Hagel is a Republican. What I don't know is whether he would have to switch parties to run with O. What if he didn't have to. Wouldn't that be great? A Democrat and a Republican running on the same ticket. (Cf. my previous thoughts on PPD; Post-Partisan Depression.) Or maybe Hagel could run as an entirely party-less person. Parties are so over anyway. The next to last word on this subject? The Constitution provides for only one Vice President and BILLARY would consist of two people. So, no go, regardless of whether BUBBA's library donors would make the Valentine's day massacre look like a middle school class picnic. And the last word: I don't see why H's presence on the ticket would help O because along with herself H brings those pesky unfavorables; statistics which have remained high and unwavering for at least the last 35 years except maybe when the public momentarily stood by H while H stood by her man. In any event,in addition to vetting there must be piles of polling going on chez O.
RECIPE: Vice Pilaf with Vice-a-Roni and Veep Dish Apple Pie.
WEATHER: Continuing suspensiveness and possible tantrums.
DATELINE: MARTHA'S VINEYARD. FRIDAY, MAY 31st, 2008.
"TEAM OF REVILERS"
If you haven't heard someone talking about Doris Kearns Goodwin's book, "Team of Rivals" then it's time you came out from under your toadstool. The book is about Lincoln's cabinet which consisted of people he chose primarily because they had been his rivals in the 1860 presidential race. Among those thus co-opted were Salmon Chase and Edwin Stanton. Lincoln chose extremely able and extremely p--ssed off men, most of whom reviled him openly. Once they were in the cabinet they settled down a bit and began to thaw; in Lincoln's favor. So clearly, this would be a good plan for OBAMA too.
Can you think of a better choice for Press Secretary than Bill O'Reilly? MAC would be ideal for The Environmental Pollution Agency; HILLARY would make a great Chieftesse of Protocol, GIULIANI (who?) would make a fine Secretary of the Ulterior and that would leave BUBBA as Secretary of the Interior Decorating, or maybe BUB would want to be White House Chef in which case the Mess would have to be renamed Cholesterol City. Fred THOMPSON has to be Attorney General (he plays one on TV). So that leaves us with Secretaries of Estate, War, Education, Homeland Insecurity, Treasury and I'm sure there are others which will come to mind if and when I have a synapse. ( Please, don't hold breath.) There are many qualified people I'd like to see in O's cabinet, Biden, Dodd, Edwards and Richardson for instance, but they aren't sufficiently reviling of O. Now HUCK deserves a spot; maybe he should be Chief of Protocol and H could then be Ambassadress to East Patagonia.
TO SEAT OR NOT TO SEAT...?
Since it's entirely possible that regardless of any decision by the DNC Rules Committee H will appeal an unfavorable ruling which means that the matter may end up going to a floor vote at the Convention in Denver. Hopefully such a Halloween HILLARY scenario will be scotched by Nancy Pelosi and her minions, Harry and Howard (Reid and Dean). But if H appeals what should happen to her? Should she be:
a) Boiled in oil
b) Sprayed with Pam
c) Forbidden to wear pants suits ever again
d) Forced to remain married to BUBBA till all the seas run dry
The problem with McClellan (Scott not George. He had his own issues.), is that those who always knew what was or wasn't going on aren't in the least surprised by what he belatedly and hypocritically revealed: while those who didn't know what wasn't or was going on and didn't care then or now, aren't going to give a hoot about his book. In fact the job of White House Press Secretary as well as the job of reporter are as good as extinct. I wrote about this a while back in a column for Primetime Arts & Entertainment magazine:
Can't wait for H's fans to demonstrate outside the DNC. That might be a very angry, scary-to-the-blue-collar-voter crowd b-tching about sexism having ruined their HILLARY's chance to become President. Is there anything H hasn't complained about or blamed for derailing her Presidential plans? And H, please don't ever forget your 'unfavorables'; the highest and most consistent in the land.
RE: The second construction crane collapse in NYC in 2 months; apparently inspections of construction sites give a snap shot of the situation only for the time the inspector is actually on site. So five minutes after the inspector leaves all kinds of safety violations might surface. I called Mayor Bloomberg's press office to ask them if anyone had considered putting moles (not that kind), on all construction crane crews so the safety situation could be consistently monitored.
Goodnight Geraldine wherever you are and hasta Domingo en Puerto Rico.
RECIPE: The good Catholic's special lamb-pooning dis(h)
WEATHER: Surly with spells of Sexism.
DATELINE: SOUTH MONTOTA, MAY 24th, 2008:
"SPEECHLESS IN SEATTLE...and everywhere else for that matter"
I had promised you a very unserious blog but I have to renege for a moment. Unfortunately we now know what's really going on inside HILLARY's head. We've had hints along the way but this time her head has popped open (like that Monty Python one with hinges), and what we're seeing inside makes Medusa's head look well-coifed. Inside H's head we see ganglions of grandiosity, endocrines of entitlement and synapses of June scenarios linked directly to Denver dopamine. The thought that some nutbush might want to do away with OBAMA has been with me ever since he announced that he was going to run. I wrote recently that I was sure H's opposlop team was slaving away 24/7 in the hopes of finding that one, juicy, worse-than-Rev.Wrong item which would put O in such a sufficiently shaky light that a swarm of Superdellphonics would trample each other in their haste to switch from O to H.
However, H's not so subliminal but very sinister dreams of glory are now revealed. She may not even be aware that her deepest, darkest wish is now public. She may not even be aware of what her deepest, darkest wish is. Regardless, my advice to H? GET THEE TO A SHRINKERY A.S.A.P. And you might as well pack BUBBA too because his not so subliminal desperation to remain in the public eye at all costs isn't doing anyone any good except possibly Senator MCOh-so-healthy.
Speaking of which, I hope Dr. Sanjay Gupta had the sense to hide a nano-camera in his hair-do so he could take photos of those 1200 plus pages of MCMedspeak. And speaking of Veeps, MAC would be smart to choose Crist. ( MAC 'n' Crisp. Sounds like fast food.) Even though that will make for a very white haired, white faced male ticket.
Way to go O. 75,000 people at a rally in Portland! I trust you've given your advance team substantial raises. And BTW, if you're elected in November and really are able to bridge the partisan divide (now there's a bridge worthy of some pork), have you considered that many of our esteemed congresspeople may start exhibiting symptoms of PPD (Post-Partisan-Depression)? In fact there may be no need at all to bridge the divide since most of our elected officials will be hiding under their desks sucking their thumbs. The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) doesn't include PPD but I'm sure that will be rectified in edition five.)
ELLEN THE GENEROUS made merry MACmincemeat on her show the other day, ending their 'discussion' of gay marriage when Ellen, who's planning to marry her partner soon, asked MAC if he'd walk her down the aisle. MAC, taken way aback, could only mutter through clenched jaws the word "touche".
HILLARY's cadre of white, blue-collared, light on education men in Kentucky and West Virginia live respectively, in bright and quite red states. So just where are you going with that HILLARY my little sweet potato pie? Those voters will not be there for you in November (nor will you be there for them), and in fact I believe that those men didn't vote FOR you; they voted AGAINST OBAMA. Even my dog figured out that one
RECIPES: ESTEEMED CLAMS WITH OREGONO AND SALSA
CRISP JINDALOO CHICKEN
RED SNAPPER WITH BLUEBERRIES
WEATHER: BAITED BREEZES BETWEEN NOW AND MAY 32nd, FOLLOWED HOPEFULLY BY SMOOTH SAILING UNTIL THE END
OF AUGUST.
DATELINE: CONNECTICUT: MAY 9th, 2008
THE LAME DUCK CAMPAIGN
The chickens have almost crossed the road. The fat people have started to sing, the Kool-Ade is being mixed and HILLARY ought to be limping back to her duck house, or whatever it is ducks live in. Like the band on the Titanic HILLARY is 'staying the course'; never mind that she's asking for campaign contributions from her audiences chock full of the economically, mortgagely and gas pumpedly challenged. Oh the irony of it all. Harken up HILLARY! Your white men with blue collars are not about to choose between donating to your campaign and buying gas for their pickup trucks. But here's what's really going on. H is running for Vice President. More about which not much later. And furthermore HILLARY, political lifer that I am, if you'd just drop out tivo-less me wouldn't have to miss any more Tuesday night "Dancing with the Stars".
Are you wondering how McAuliffe manages to keep that 'smile' on his face? Does he keep it in a drawer wrapped tenderly in tissue paper? And did you see Axelrod Tuesday night? He was almost smiling. Well, at least his eyes twinkled and his moustache was arranged a slight, almost imperceptible upward angle. But Bubba's face took the cake. Standing behind H as she gave her speech, he looked to be on the verge of a major meltdown of some sort. Which sort is becoming clear. Today he heckled a heckler. Things will get worse. I promise.
TICKET SHMICKET
So if OBAMA picks H as his VP would everything be tickety boo? Absolutely NOT! The dream ticket? No, the nightmare ticket. I think that H's working whites are a very soft demographic. The over 65's not as much, and the women of a certain age and Catholics probably not at all. O's running mate has to be someone reassuring to at least two of those groups. Case in point: in the '04 Democratic primary in North Carolins, John Edwards got only 40% of the white vote. And H's negatives aren't going to go away. Her negatives. stuck to her like gum on a shoe, have remained the most unchanged statistic in all the festivities, Republican, Democratic and Ron Paul, since Iowa.
So who would make a good running mate for O? If he weren't so electorally challenged my first choice would be Joe Biden. I like Mayor Bloomberg and his economic expertise. Sam Nunn, whom I'm assuming is over 60 by now, would be good. Governor Rendell of Pennsylvania would be excellent, electorally speaking, but but even though he sports a spare tire or two I don't think he's heavy enough to be on the ticket; very lacking in foreign (as opposed to local) affairs. Moving along here, that 'women of a certain age vote needs alot of work. Those women won't go to MAC as will H's white men Nope. Those women will stay home. Consequently might want to consider Nancy Pelosi, Diane Fienstein, Madeleine Albright or...OR....CHELSEA! Even better, how about a 60 year-old white, Catholic, blue-collar trans-sexual? Now there's a closer.
H's oppo team must be drinking vats of coffee and slapping themselves around so they can stay awake all day and all night until they 'stumble' on the May surprise which will derail O for good. That little nugget which will expose O as Bin Laden's brother.
The MAC oppo team is surely doing the same thing and if they find anything at all they'll share it with H since she's the one MAC wants to run against in the fall. As a sweetener, H will get the blame for slinging that particular slime.
Even though H is whistling in the dark, I hope that O is planning on campaigning in West Virginia and Kentucky. If he doesn't those voters will feel quite dissed, miffed and neglected. On the other hand, if O doesn't campaign in those two states H's 'victories' will seem a tad hollow which they will be anyway since the Titanic has already gone down. (To date, O's schedule is all Oregon all the time, as is Michelle's; with times out for brief periods of looking Presidential while wandering around the Senate with prospective Superdellphonics. (Remember them?) I wonder if some of them will be pressuring O to put H on the ticket.
You know what I'm most worried about? That either the CLINTONS or more likely Karl Rove (in advising MAC's campaign) will manufacture, dummy up a Youtube video showing O in church while the Rev. rants. O might want to do an 'innoculation' ad standing next to a computer/video nerd who explains how easy it is to 'create' a video. The ad could also show an equally vicious clip about MAC, perhaps MAC and Bush sitting close together on the couch in Bush's 'Man Room', bowls of popcorn on their lap, glued to the tube watching Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants.
One of these weeks, if the political scene gets slow, i'm going to indulge myself and let you in on my brother Andy's script for what Adams, Franklin and Jefferson might be doing if they found themselves in a Costco. (While visiting my brother in L.A. we watched all ten hours of "John Adams". It was a veritable Johnathon.)
RECIPE: Blue Collard Greens
WEATHER: Spring is sprung, the slime is slung and hopefully we'll be seeing mostly blue skies from now
on.
DATELINE: BARACK'S HOME FOR BEWILDERED AND BURNED OUT BLOGGERS: FRIDAY, MAY 2nd, 2008
"GORILLAGATE"
OBAMA, having "changed" his mind about Rev. Wrong instead of divorcing him entirely, has managed to throw the 800 pound gorilla OVER, not under, the bus so the gorilla is still alive if not particularly well. Do you have any idea how much I don't want to be talking about this? But,right here in the room with us, squished onto the couch next to the gorilla is the 900 pound elephant and that elephant has a great big old sign around its neck which says; "RACE". (And that's not a reference to what happens at Churchill Downs every May.)
I would have liked OBAMA to be a little angrier, instead of post-modern mad. Some visuals such as a fist pound or tasteful snarl would have been good. He wouldn't have had to give up his measuredness,but a little visuality would have played most excellently in the news clips. Of course O was clearly trying to come across as reassuringly angry instead of acting like Rev. Wrong who was behaving like a deranged parade float (hat tip to can't remember who). Perhaps O could have said, "I know that the Rev. is scaring the beJesus out of you, but just because we're both African-American doesn't mean you have to be afraid of me too". O has been trying to run an apres-racial campaign but that's turned out to be pie-in-the-sky naive on his part. (HILLARY occasionally tries to morph into a post-gender candidate but I don't think anyone out there, including H, knows what post-gender looks like. The bottom line is that unfortunately this race is now, and probably always was, about race.
H of course could have just sat back and lapped up the opposlop being slung at O, but of course it was impossible for her to resist throwing her two cents into post-Wrong speeches just in case the 24/7, wall-to-wall media coverage wasn't sufficient. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall at H's campaign HQ earlier this week when the Rev. got REVVED up. The champagne corks must have been zooming through the air in which case being a fly on the wall might have been a little life-threatening so maybe not such a good idea.
Very curious about whether the American people, of which I consider myself to be one,will be taken in by what is the purest of panders; the gas tax 'vacation' proposed by H and MAC and opposed by O. Or will O's honesty in calling the tax 'meaningless' be appreciated. To me this is a real test of what is or isn't going on in people's perceptions of the candidates, not to mention whether people can distinguish honesty from pandering.
No one may have noticed, but before the Rev. blew through the scrim last Sunday in Detroit; the media was just starting to try to get some anti-O mileage out of a company for which he'd obtained a state grant so it could sponsor a, for Chr__t's sake, ping pong tournament called 'Killerspin'. To be spun as 'Spinkillerspin'? (A serial killer with vertigo perhaps?)
And let's not forget how quick MAC is to toss people under the Not-so-straight-talk Express. As to BUBBA, his affect and ego are the size of any old bus so there's really no point in trying to throw him under himself. (Enough already.) Let's just leave it that O now has his very own ball and chain. Just like H, only H's is white with white hair and O's is black with some white hair.
BTW, I thought Carter's trip to talk to Hamas was brilliant. Regardless of its anti-Israel views, Hamas is the democratically elected majority in Palestine so we should be talking to them. That doesn't mean we can't continue to disagree with its anti-semitism. We talk to North Korea and that country isn't exactly a bastion of democracy. What if France had stopped talking with the U.S. for the last 7 plus years because it didn't like our President.?
And the GUAM caucuses? primary? are/is May 3rd which might already have happened given that it could be tomorrow in Guam because of the huge time difference. Or it might be yesterday.
WEATHER: Hopefully no more Wrong stretches, but there will be frequent nail-biting, and pander showers.
RECIPE: Indiana Pudding
UNDERAGE GRASSROOTSINESS
Yup. I'm a little played out. Wanted to inform you as to what the little people are thinking. The little people are the ones for whom we are supposed to save this planet. That's very important to remember.
In keeping with my little people frame of mind, I organized a petite focus group of first and second graders. Here's what they had to say:
DG: Kirsten, how old are you?
K: Seven.
DG: What grade are you in at school?
K: First.
DG: Have you heard about the Presidential campaign that's going on?
Have you heard about Obama?
K: Yes.
DG: What have you heard?
K: Mom and Dad are going to vote for him (followed by some giggling).
DG: Have you heard anything about Hillary Clinton?
K: No.
DG: Have you heard about someone named McCain?
K: That he wants to start a war again.
DG: Do you think it's important that we have a President in this country?
K: Yes.
DG: Would you like to be President some day?
K: No.
DG: Why not?
K: Because I want to be an art teacher or an artist.
And now a few words from Annabelle; a seven-year old first grader who likes school "sometimes".
DG: When do you like school?
A: When I'm happy if I'm having a good day.
Annabelle hadn't heard about the Presidential campaign but had heard about OBAMA.
DG: Would you like to be President some day?
A: Yes.
DG: What would you do if you were President?
A: I would have giant pizza parties and invite my friends.
DG: What about inviting all the people in the country?
A: That would be a good idea
DG: Wouldn't you need a very big place to have all those people
to your parties?
A: I could have the parties at my school.
Kelly is an eight year-old second grader who likes school "sometimes".
DG: Have you ever heard the name OBAMA?
K: Um, he's a black man running for President who's trying to
help the environment.
DG: Have you heard anything about HILLARY Clinton?
K: She voted for the war but now she doesn't want to. but
she's trying to do the same thing as BARACK.
DG: Have you heard about McCain?
K: Um. He's a Republican and most people don't vote for
Republicans that much anymore.
Kelly would like to be President some day and "help people who didn't have money and do things that are good". I'm thinking that OBAMA might want to consider putting Kelly on the ticket.
Crystal is a seven year-old second grader who likes school. She hadn't heard of any of the candidates and stated clearly that she wasn't interested in who was running for President.
DG: Would you like to be President some day?
C: No.
DG: Why not?
C: Because I don't want to.
DG: What's your favorite thing to do?
C: Eat ice cream.
Here's Lorena who is eight, in the second grade and "sort of" likes school "sometimes". What she likes is art, computers, music and library.
DG: Have you heard of OBAMA?
L: Yes.
DG: What have you heard?
L: I forget.
Lorena also forgot what she'd heard about HILLARY but remembered that McCain is "mean" and "yells alot". Lorena did not want to be President but didn't know why not.
So there you have it. As cogent a group as any covey of over/under-educated, blue and white striped voters. And don't forget; they'll be taking care of us some day. Hopefully.
RECIPE: PEOPLES' PIZZA (serves @ three hundred million and takes twenty years
to prepare).
WEATHER: HOPEFULLY LASTING.
Los Angeles
Friday, April 25th, 2008
PENNSPUNSYLVANIA (hat tip to Olbermann)
Forgot to mention BUB’s rather priceless comment while campaigning last week. In referring to American flag lapel pins, he said: “If you want to play (run for office) you have to keep your uniform on”. A surprising bunch of words, to say the least, to fall out of the mouth of someone who couldn’t keep his
uniform on.
I’m in trouble. Early this week, before the primary, I dreamt that I was desperately trying to find a map of Pennsylvania in ’04, broken down by Congressional District, showing where Kerry had done well. Next morning, right there in the New York Times was a current map of Pennsylvania, complete with districts
and related numbers of delegates.
Jonathan Alter made a good, and brand new, point last week: If HILLARY lies and covers up during her campaign, she’ll do the same thing as President because that’s who HILLARY is. Alter wasn’t just revisiting BulletsoverBosnia; he was making the point that when running for office, a consummate politician like her will embellish her image as she goes along. For instance, her 35 years of experience included 15 years of practicing corporate law, but we don’t hear about the legal part of the experience.
Furthermore, we all know by now, as first lady it was strictly Tea in Tuzla, not heavy duty peace negotiations in Niger and Northern Ireland. In sum, HILLARY’s forte is doing one thing and calling it another.
Is baking cookies a contact sport? Does baking cookies mean you’re tough and ready? Beats me.
Okay. I’m ready to talk about Pennsyl and Tucky; but not at any length. HILLARY did well in Tucky and OBAMA did well in Pennsyl .I’m not discouraged by the results, OBAMA having more than cut HILLARY’s lead in half. But if the ever rabidly ratings- bound media has its way even I will become discouraged.
Such spinning hasn’t been seen since Rumplestiltskin rumbled through town. The media is bent on stepping up the suspense so that we, the great unwashed out here, will think that the ‘race’ will go on forever. In your dreams media! See, according to my so-called math, (I should tell you that in high school I took Algebra One twice and then was banished to biology), HILLARY will have a very difficult time taking the nomination.
I was kind of disappointed that the Pope didn't endorse OBAMA.
BTW did anyone besides my eagle-eyed publisher see the ‘breaking news’ Wednesday, on either MSNBC or CNN, that John Edwards had endorsed OBAMA? That was a ripping rollout of a superdell even if it came and went within 30 seconds and had obviously been cooked up by some superbored
teleprompter programmer at one of those networx.
On the other hand, Reverend Wrong has most timelessly injected himself into the nation’s consciousness less than two weeks before North Carolina and Indiana. He’s even making the talkshow/news circuit. Thanks for nothing sport. (Wonder if FIX News is on his menu?)
On the other other hand BUBBA is off and running, or rather wagging again. He recently blew up in an interview with WHYY (NPR in Phila.). Cannonball BUBBA will become looser and looser as HILLARY’s coverage becomes more and more extensive.
Should OBAMA rejettison Rev. Wrong? Would that please the white, working man, or cause a blacklash?
WEATHER: Nasty through May 6th with occasional showers of race cards.
RECIPE: Black and White brand scotch. A case of it, And a fire axe.
See you in Indiaina? Carolindy? NoCarIn? (Enough already.)
DATELINE; PHILADELPHIA, PA; IN THE MOSH PIT (AKA THE
SPIN ROOM) AT THE CONVENTION CENTER
DURING THE DEBATE:
APRIL 18, 2008
I hardly know where to start so I'll start at the finish. As you all know by now the debate was a complete fiasco because all that Stephanopoulos(a known CLINTON crony) and Gibson were doing was following orders from ABC corporate to do whatever was necessary to get big ratings. Well, they succeeded.
According to the Nielsons, the audience for the debate was bigger than American Idol's. Now that's hard news. The soft news? Gibson and Steph have lost any credibility they may have had as serious newspeople. Is that because it wasn't until about 45 minutes into the debate that any issues questions were asked? Prior to that Charlie had his Gibs on and together with
Georgyporgypuddin'n'fie did everything they could, including resurrecting Rev. Wrong and Bullets-over-Bosnia, to get HILLARY and OBAMA to start physically wrestling with each other. One of their attempts in this area consisted of a video clip of an actual Pennsylvania voter asking OBAMA why
he didn't wear an American flag pin in his lapel!
Instead of whatever answer he gave, OBAMA should have turned to HILLARY, taken a long slow look at her lapel and inquired whether she had forgotten to wear her American flag pin. Fortunately, my eagle-eyed publisher had phoned me during the debate to point out that HILLARY was pinless. I hadn't
noticed, nor presumably had Gibsteph because surely they would have taken advantage of such a huge softball opening. One to which HILLARY could have responded that her dog had eaten her flag pin, or that she was wearing her flag pin in her pierced navel . I have to hand it to her; her sense of humor is
almost as good as OBAMA's. Enough about the "debate". Not worth any more ink except to note that Gibsteph looked so diminished after their performance that only their hair and eyebrows showed over the tops of their desks.
You know who's really nice? Candy Crowley of CNN.
Since no media except a few pool, still photogs were allowed in the actual debate hall, the spin room was stuffed to the rafters with muttering media waiting to get their hands on the spinners due to grace us with their presence when the debate was over. I opted instead to go upstairs, (always go to the area where
the most TV lights are because that's where someone important is.) Upstairs was the 'special' press area. Obviously, that's where I belonged and none of the guard staff seemed to care. Shortly after my adorable congressman Patrick Murphy gave me a kiss on the cheek, I found Governor Rendell and shoved my oversized and therefore very uncool tape recorder at him so I could ask if he was aware that HILLARY hadn't been wearing a flag pin. His response? "No. I don't think she was.", folllowed by a belly chuckle. David Axelrod's response to the same question? "Yeah, she wasn't."
Yes, I'm still blabbling on about the debate. Sorry, but there was just too much juicy stuff going on. Before the candidates took the stage I was wondering what color HILLARY would be wearing, not to mention which HILLARY would be appearing that night. Well, blue-collar, boiler-maker drinking HILLARY was wearing...Blue! But was it belligerent blue? Bellweather blue? Maybe red and blue plaid or pandering pink would have been the way to go.
Two BTW's: First: At Chris Matthew's Hard Ball College Tour stop at Villanova earlier this week, a student asked what MAC thought about HILLARY knocking back shots. MAC's response? "Whatever makes her happy". And the student questioner? None other than the son of Fox Morning Show producer Steve Doucey. Second: BUB would make an excellent Secretary of Offense. Should have floated the latter as a rumor in the spin room to see how long it took to get back to me.
SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS:
#1: Why are HILLARY and OBAMA continually telling us about that $720 million per week being wasted in Iraq which could be used here at home for all sorts of goodies such as healthcare, higher education for family pets and Odor-Eaters for everyone living in Turkmenistant, or all the Stans for that matter. That money doesn't exist. Every single cent of it has been borrowed.
#2. When HILLARY's most important demographic (white women of a certain age) were in drinking mode, boilermakers were known as depth charges. Maybe her advisor on the boilermaker issue was very young.
#3: I've been at the debate venue for about six hours now; entertaining myself by interviewing OBAMA and HILLARY supporters gathered noisily outside on the street, and the reporters from Icelandic TV( Rikisutvarpid to you) and "De Telegraaf", Holland's largest newspaper were alot of fun. I wonder if I'll be able to find where I parked my car.
#4: I have an idea. Why don't these debates focus on one and only one issue? For instance, cooking. The panelists could be Anthony Bourdain and the most recent winner of "Top Chef". Questions might include; "Senator CLINTON; do you prefer gas or electric?" She'd probably hedge her bets and respond that she's comfortable with both.
OBAMA's answer would be that he prefers to fry his eggs on solar panels.
OBAMA girl was in the spin room. How did I figure out who she was? It wasn't just the forest of TV lights, it was the "Catch-me-F--k-me" shoes she was wearing: five inch spike heels in a tasteful shade of pea green. Not to be outdone, earlier
in the day I heard a loud voice behind me announce: "I'm Larry King's most recent ex-wife!" I turned around to see a very blonde, blue sunglassed woman of a very certain age. I asked if I could interview her but she said "no" because she was working. (At what?)
Last night Charlie Rose had Mayor Bloomberg and Governor Schwarzenneger on his show. Wow! They talked real substance, seemed very honest and forthcoming, were very well-informed and interesting. They also discussed why some solutions work and others don't. It was a real, grownup exchange of ideas; noteworthy because they said that since Washington had died, whatever was going to get done in this country would happen because of mayors and governors able to work with their legislators within the confines of our current economic mess.
What a contrast to the Philly debate debacle. Let's amend the Constitution and elect Bloomie and the Governaytah. No more mediocre, partisan politicians.
RECIPE: Grandma's Boilermakers with bitter chocolate drops.
WEATHER: Mostly underground for at least the next sixty-five news cycles.
DATELINE; LEVITTOWN, PA: April 9, 2008
WAITING FOR
OBAMGODOT AND THE FINE ART OF SNAGGING A GOOD
SPOT IN THE PRESS GALLERY
Here we are at the Harry S. (the buck stops here) Truman Senior High School in Levittown, PA, with a good two hours to go before OBAMA is due to arrive; "due" being a completely meaningless term. The High School gym (home of the Truman Tigers) is packed to the rafters with a complete salad of people,
black,brown,white,yellow,young,old,nice, not so nice.
The gentle odor of sweat and very worn Nikes permeates the gym. Looking around I spy the baskets at each end of the room. Wouldn't it be great if OBAMA , having flunked gutterball, took to the podium with a basketball under his arm and before saying a word to the audience took a shot at one of the baskets
(only about 12 feet away). Now that would get tons of earned media; the clip would be played over and over, regardless of whether he made the basket. Not making the basket would revive all the gutterball
comments.
Chatting with another reporter who'd been to a HILLARY rally at the abandoned Fairless Hills Steel Plant, I was told that there were only about 300 people in a room which could have held a thousand. (Poor advance work again: always choose a venue which is much smaller than you think/hope you'll need.
Then the visuals will show people falling out the doors.) And what's all this about 'street money'?
HILLARY will have to loan it to herself again. OBAMA doesn't do street money.
While waiting for the Secret Service and snifferdogs to sweep the Harry S. (the buck stops here) Truman Senior High School gym I worked the line of people lined up to get into the rally. I was shamelessly promoting this blog, handing out about 100 of my screaming fuschia cards tastefully imprinted with "Political Underwear Monthly". I had to explain to some who were hesitant to take the card that my blog was PG rated.
Still in the gym, trying to determine what the warmup music is. It's not Aretha, but sort of rappish; then segueing into "Higher and Higher" (the Temps?). Anyway, Cole Porter it wasn't.
Snagging that good press spot: After an OBAMA volunteer has ushered you to a seat in the 'local' press section, wait a few seconds and then stride purposefully, presscreds very visible, to the TV risers nearest the spot where the candidate will enter. This can be tricky, but most of the cameramen are nice enough
to let you sit beneath their tripods, assuming you don't weigh over 25 pounds and are under 3 feet tall.
And at last, OBAMA is about to arrive. You can always tell when he's in the building because the travelling press trudges in just before him. At this point in time the press travelling on the 'zoo' (press) plane are quite bedraggled and not very fresh looking or smelling. After all, they've been on the zoo plane
for decades, many have grown beards and most of them have missed several birthdays (theirs).
The big O walks towards the podium. Crowd goes beserko. El stumpo speecho is the same old and goes on a bit too long. This is supposed to be a town hall format after all. Finally, first question from the audience, questioner and mike holder tussling a bit when OBAMA says; "let her have the mike". Happy
questioner doesn't really have a question, she has a speech. Campaign Rule #3,623(A)(4)(c) is very specific; "Never, ever let a questioner `control the mike". OBAMA finally has to cut the poor woman off.
Uh oh. Next questioner has notes in his hand. Campaign Rules also make clear that questioners with notes visible should be avoided.
So CINDYMISSUSMAC thinks she might be the next Jackie. Not according to a photog I was chatting up. Latter was standing in a gaggle of photographers surrounding MAC at a photo op! Photog feels claw clamping onto her left elbow and hears loud, gravelly voice telling her in no uncertain terms to "back off. Stop crowding my husband!". CINDYMISSUSMAC may gaze Nancy-like at her husband when he's making speeches but apparently she has long fingernails and knows how to use them.
BILL OF THE BAWL (or, you've gone over the hillbilly):
So Bub thinks HILLARY should be forgiven for her 'misspeak' (lie) about those bullets over Bosnia because 60 year-olds tend to forget things. Nice going Bub. He said this at a rally after bringing up the Bosniabulletin all over again, all by himself, not even in response to a question from the media. Boffo
move Bubela! The story, leggy as it was, had finally died a reluctant death. It was finally DOA and now you've managed to revive it. How do you do it? More interestingly, Why do you do it? Especially after HILLARY had called you before this latest of your missteps (ghastly mistakes), to tell you to stop sabotaging her campaign. The pundits are scratching their talking heads, wondering what up. But no one understands that Bub can't help himself. He can't abide not being numero uno. Interesting that the remarks he's making manage to make him the center of attention again and he gets almost as much earned media as his wife.
Again, HILLARY apparently has zero control over Bub so how does she intend to control the Joint Chiefs, the Joint Chefs, or anyone else having anything to do with anything governmental?
Where should the Mark Penn buck stop?
(a) Here
(b) there
(c) everywhere
(d) it hasn't
MAC: Aren't you having a senior year?
(a) No. It was only a senior hour.
(b) The Shunnia did it.
(c) Let's just let it be. That's what the Paul McCartney told me to do with the economy.
I'm not running for President but I am of a certain age so I'm sure MAC would be cheered to know that yesterday morning it finally happened: I put my nose drops in my eyes!
And now for something completely serious: please oh please go to www.msnbc.com and look for David Wilson's documentary and Brian Williams' town hall at Howard University which followed the film (air date: April 10th). It was the best discussion of race I've ever heard.
So...the way things are going, the Democratic Convention in Denver may look like a painting by Hieronymos Bosch on Pop-Tarts.
WEATHER: After April 22nd there won't be any at all in Pennsylvania until November.
PASSOVER RECIPE: Penncakes with Gutterball Toikey.
DATELINE: PENNSYLBAMA: APRIL 3rd, 2008
"BITTER PILL BILL"
I've said it before and I'll continue saying it because it's becoming more and more true, not to mention more and more prevalent: Why, oh why can't HILLARY rein in her loose deckchair of a husband? The man clearly has issues. Lots and lots of issues. Did Bill really think that having one prayer breakfast with
a bunch of ecumencal, clerical types to whom he confessed his Lewinskysin over doughnuts and doughnuts and Egg McOvals would purge him of his sexual addiction. It's sort of akin to, "One AA meeting does not a recovering alcoholic make". (I put that in quotes because I quoted myself.)
Now maybe I'm being unfair and BlowUpBill (hereinafter BUB), has been in serious therapy twice a week since Monica first blew into the oval. Do you think he has? I don't either. So now we have present-day BUB driving his baggage stuffed moving van around the country; that really long, huge kind of van, complete with logo on side of van saying: "BOB", (Bad Overnight Baggage).
And because we are in the midst of the longest primary season since Ghengis Khan rigged his first 'election' back in oughty-oughty-oughty-ought, this is not the time for BUB to be losing control over his sexual addiction-based anger (I could explain that psychologically but you'd probably rather I didn't.). I do enjoy BUB'S meltdowns - wish there'd been video of the recent one so we could have relished his red face, pointing finger and other assorted misbehaviors at the meeting of the taken- a-way-back superdelegates BUB was trying to snow.
And next to last but not least, will HILLARY on day one be ready and able to rein in BUB? I don't think so. And he'll probably hide that ephing 3:00 ayem phone from her so he can answer it and grab charge ala Alexander Haig, to whom I am unfortunately remotely related
I'm wondering if the pollers in Pennsylbama are asking the pollees whether they've been previously registered as Republicans. If they are then Plush Limbaugh's misguided message is getting out there and the Repudems are all going to vote for HILLARY and against OBAMA. OBAMA being the one most likely to beat MediumSizedMAC in November. Anyway, seems to me that's a crucial question which Mr.
Zoggy Quinnipiacski ought to be posing.
WEATHER: Extemsive baggage with occasional reddening and finger pointing.
RECIPE: Corned Beef and Baggage with Tuna Meltdown on the side.
DATELINE: PENNSYLTUCKY*: MARCH 28th, 2008:
*(Hat tip to Josh's Pa)
BULLS--T OVER BOSNIA
Or.....former first lady Ms. Spoke singlehandedly solves slav struggles. HILLARY said; "We were under fire, as far as I know. We had to duck our heads and run from the tarmac, as far as I know. I had dyed O'Chelsea's hair bright red because as far as I knew we were going to Ireland to solve those problems.
There was probably sniper fire there too, as far as I know.
Sleep deprivation? Why didn't you just go to 78 countries instead of 82? Taking care of oneself physically may not be on the Commander-in-Chief test but it should be. Because if you don't take care of yourself and that 3:00 ayem phone rings, when you finally awaken rudely from your deeply deprived slumber you'll probably just yell into the phone: "I'm on the Do-Not-Call List botox breath", and slam down the receiver.
And now a few definitions from the 12th edition of the Clintictionary:
Misspoke: lied.
Unspoke: lied
Despoke: lied
Malspoke: lied
Because I had the idea for an SSAT-type Commander-in-Chief test before Olbermann announced that he would have one out by Sunday, I 'm going to show you a few examples of questions from what is an extremely extensive, multiple-choice test which may be filled out only with a number two pencil:
#1: Will you be ready on day one?
(a) But of course
(b) No way
(c) Way
(d) Day one of what?
#2: Why do you deserve to to be the nominee?
(a) Because someone waved a sign at me which said: "Iron my shirt!"
(b) Because my spouse used to know alot about the economy.
(c) Because I'm tough
(d) Because only 37% of all voters don't think well of me.
#3: What does Yipesucaipa mean?
(a) It's a small island in the Pacific whose airport is famous for its sniper fire.
(b) It's the name of the new religious congregation I've decided to join.
(c) It's an Incan swear word which means, "Holy s--t, here come the Hispanics".
(d) It's what you said to your accountant when he told you that your off-shore tax shelters wouldn't
pass muster with the IRS.
And now a serious question for you Senator OBAMA: Assuming those church bulletins weren't dummied up, in all your twenty years of associating with Reverend Wrong, did you really not know that those bulletins contained some anti-semitic comments? Back to pillory HILLORY, it's much more fun.
HILLARY, HILLARY, HILLARY! Where oh where are those income tax returns? Did you store them in a box? Did you leave them with a fox? Or are you going to release them on April twenty-first and a half so the media won't have time to let us know what's in or not in them?
WEATHER: Very taxing
RECIPE: MACaroons
DATELINE; UNDER MY BED; FRIDAY, MARCH 21st, 2008
"SOFTBALL"
The onset of preliminary primary withdrawal is ugly enough, but it's been eons since Msissippi and I'm a shadow of my former self which means undue hours spent moping in bed with only the horrendous heads for company (on TV silly, not in my bed!). Do you think Chris Matthews dances better than he yells or vice
versa?
Have you seen HILLARY'S new book? It's called "What I did during my summer vacation in 82 countries". ( It's published by the Self-Serving Press and costs a mere $49.99. Add $49.99 for shipping and handling.) Further, as to the First Lady's Archives ( do you think they've been redacted?), they're
now being combed through line by line by the media. One can only hope that there's something to be found which is alot weightier than a meet'n'greet in Ghana and a tour of a bonsai factory in Japan. A tryst with Reverend Wrong in Rawalpindi would be more than most gratifying.Apparently a ten-year old photo of Bill-our-blackest-president-ever-Clinton shaking hands with Reverend Wrong has surfaced. I'm afraid my honest reaction has to be, 'So unfortunately what?'
Hat tip to David Gergen for pointing out the obvious but unstated: that OBAMA, in his racy speech earlier this week, talked TO us; not AT or DOWN TO us. A stark and refreshing contrast to HILLARY'S repetitive and monosyllabic, school-marmish monologues.
Well pickle mah peppers! Yesterday one of the 'heads' announced that Pennsylvania "wasn't important anymore, but Indiana was". I live in Pennsylvania and I don't appreciate being shut down so ut-of-handedly. Especially after having been fawned over non-stop since March 11th.
I've always thought well of Bill Richardson and am thrilled that he's declared for OBAMA, even if he is thinking Vice Presidential thoughts and Hispanic votes. Which brings to mind that long, ghostly row of empty podiums at those long forgotten debate sites. The debates were more entertaining then, what with
Gravel growling and Kucinich making his never to be forgotten comment about having seen a UFO.
And leaving no stern untoned who do you think might have gone fishing in OBAMA'S passport file six days after the Iowa primary? My theory is that since Bush 41 apparently peeked into Bill Clinton's passport file, Bill managed to convince W that it would only be fair to let him peep into OBAMA'S file so
he could spot therein any possibly juicy,helpful-to-HILLARY doings. The subsequent face-saving and ever so timely disclosure by the Skate Department that MAC'S and HILLARY'S files had also been breached by the alleged googling contract plumbers doesn't dissuade me from sniffing skullduggery. And we'll never know what really happened because the peepers were promptly shipped to Gitmo where
they're good and inaccessible to reporters brandishing large checks in exchange for their stories.
RECIPE: Baked potato with sour cream and (ar)chives
WEATHER: None in Pennsylvania. Mostly important in Indiana.
DATELINE: CHICAGO: MARCH 14, 2008.
REVEREND WRONG
(With friends like this who needs HILLARY nattering away at you?)Remember that clip last week of HILLARY scooping slimy salmon innards in Alaska? She called it the 'best preparation for what she's doing now'. Too right! She learned how to slime, and now she's getting help from the good Reverend Wright. But, if her hands are slimy won't that 3:00 a.m. White House phone slide right out of her hand when she answers it?
Though it was absolute heaven to have two primaries this past week (Wyo and Msissippi not Mississippi), I do worry about HILLARY'S getting 70% of the white vote. Fortunately that statistic has not been mirrored in the states which are 'in play' as the palavering pundits like to refer to them. Besides,
MS will go to MAC in November. Another statistic: 30-35% of Dems said they would vote for their party's nominee even if he/she wasn't their first choice. Do you think large parties are being tossed all over MAC'S headquarters? But my favorite poll result? More people now disapprove of Bill than approve of
him. Add to that all the lovely generalizing by the twittering heads to the effect that powerful men (Spitzer for instance, and Bill) seem to get their arrogant selves into all sorts of dirty, sexual dustups. I also enjoyed the clips of Mrs. Spitzer standing by her man. Hopefully a lot of HILLARY'S legions of white women of a certain age were reminded of how their candidate stood by her man and how demeaning that was and how surprising that a strong woman wouldn't tell her philandering mate to go p--s up a rope.
I mean how can you view tough-and-toe-to-toe HILLARY the fighter when she's behaved like a doormat?
BTW has any member of our media asked HILLARY about the Spitzers? Of course her response would consist of a triple-speak non-answer.
HILLARY found yet another voice in Wyoming; the cowgirl drawl. It's just like when she slides into pastorspeak when appearing at the Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem. AND...was Bill chewing tabacky as he took the stage at a Msissippi event?
Contrary to what CNN and MSNBC may think, Pennsylvania is not the next primary. Washington, D.C. as caucuses on April 3rd. Were I a Districtian I'd be feeling slightly slighted about now, just as the AmSams and the Virgin Islanders must feel. (I'm not a virgin or an island either.)Thank you Harridine Ferraro! Are you as mindless as a bag of clams or still smarting over the coal- raking the media gave you concerning your husband's tax rambunctions when you were running for VP with Mondale? At least you didn't make a big deal of standing by your man.
Hat tip to Lou Dobbs for suggesting that perhaps the Dem candidates could branch out a little in their discussion of issues. I interpret that to mean that OBAMA and HILLARY should stop promising a dove in every pot and a healthcare plan in every garage and touch on a few other issues.
Remember Colin Powell's maxim about Iraq; 'The Pottery Barn Effect: You break it you buy it'. It keeps popping up in and around my head. Picture this. You're in your local Pottery Barn and you back into one of those three foot tall glass vase things. Head hung low you listen to the glowering store manager inform
you that the cost of that vase is $199.99 plus tax. But instead of paying for the vase, picture telling the manager that he'll have to fix it. And he'll have to fix it by a set deadline or you won't help him put it back together. For instance, the first two thousand shards of glass must be glued together no later than March
19th. Not surprisingly the manager has zero motivation to fix the vase and he has no means of forcing you to buy it. To make things worse, you the clumsy customer start blaming the manager for arranging his store in such a way that it's easy to knock over and break merchandise. (Okay, if this pops into my head
again I'll suppress the urge to blog about it.)
Wouldn't you like to see a TV reality show called, "Survivor CEO"? The premise would be that the participants would be relieved of their seventy-million dollar annual bonuses and plopped down on Staten Island for three weeks with only two matches and a loin cloth.
RECIPE: White Whine Spitzer.
WEATHER REPORT: More of the same.
DATELINE; THE BLUE TORTILLA RESTAURANT, SOMEWHERE IN EASTERN
PENNSYLVANIA; FRIDAY, MARCH 7th, 2008.
"JUST SAY NO TO AN OH, HO OR H2O TICKET"
We all know that Bill is going to have his nose in HILLARY'S Presidency, so just imagine the messy menage a trois which will result regardless of whether HILLARY or OBAMA is at the top of the ticket.
Even the left/center Indies might be jumping into MAC's arms along with a pretty fair number of those
white men if either of those groups doesn't have OBAMA to vote for and HILLARY to vote against.Their
default mode will be MAC.
Want to hear something scary? Really, really scary? A woman in an Ohio focus group said she'd vote for
HILLARY because the economy was so good when her husband was president and he'd be advising her
if she became president so the economy would be okay again!
And even though our misguided media want us to think that HILLARY made a killing on March 4th, OBAMA still has more pledged delegates than she does. Of course we all know that the media are positively twitching with excitement because the race will now be even more prolonged which means more boffo ratings. Even if HILLARY had lost all four of the primaries on the fourth the media would have administered CPR so that they could headline with "HILLARY'S b-a-a-ack".
BTW just how appropriate is it for a newscaster to giggle uncontrollably while playing the clip of SILLARY
making fun of HILLARY on SNL? Of course I wouldn't be kvetching if all that earned media had gone
OBAMA'S way.
OBAMA might want to consider putting out some 'inoculation' ads; anticipating what flavor of mud might be thrown his way next. (Surely each campaign is full of moles.) But how do you anticipate the "monster" mud which came from an OBAMA advisor and was aired by a Scottish lass of a reporter in whose mouth butter wouldn't melt? Maybe a fairly long ad (broadcast and print) something like this: OBAMA looks straight into the camera and says: "My opponent, in the course ofthe next few months will probably call me (check one, some or all) a monster, a noodlehead, a hawk, a dove, a roast pigeon, a mob associate, a tax-and-spender, a Republican, a clockwork cow pattie. I want you to know ahead of time that I'm none of these and it's just possible that my opponent will be attempting
to toy with the truth. I'm warning you about the possibility of trash talking to come, because I don't want you, the American people, to be surprised, upset or taken barack by my opponent's comments."
The foregoing ad can also be recycled during the general election since it refers only to "my opponent".(Campaign Rule 1,436A: 4(b): never refer to the opposition by name.)
Hopefully HILLARY will appear in Wyoming sporting a too-large stetson which covers most of her face, and spurs with the pants suit would be a nice touch. Does she have feet? None of the coverage of her shows her feet. She might be wearing Sponge Bob bedroom slippers for all we know. Such sensational sartorial coverage would certainly make it's way to Pennsylvania where the Sponge Bob slippers would
scare the bejeesus out of the Alabamians, though the Philadelphians would love it. And speaking of Alabama, if anyone out there is in touch with OBAMA'S campaign, I think it's crucial that he spend most if not all of his time between the day before yesterday and April 22nd doing retail politicking in that part of PA; including lots of town halls with lots of Q & A's.
Certainly am happy but not surprised to see that the Florimich mess is alive and increasingly well, though the 'solutions' being floated around are as coated with hypocrisy as a scoop of vanilla
ice cream covered with chocolate sauce. Even my dog understands that seating Michigan delegates where OBAMA (playing by the DNC rules) wasn't even on the ballot, wouldn't be fair. HILLARY on the other hand, having declared that she won Michida thinks all her delegates should be seated. But what
really curls my socks is the argument that if Flormichigandians aren't seated they will sit home and sulk in November, not voting because their delegates weren't seated. I don't think anyone is going to stay home in November, sulky or otherwise.
WEATHER REPORT: It's quite unusual for weather forecasters to forecast for a period of more than five or so days ahead, but what's in store for us weatherwise is somewhat akin to El Nino so we can predict with confidence that El Nastynino will be hovering over Pennsylvania for at least another six weeks.
RECIPE: Tomato, Basil and Monsterella Salad. Don't forget to remove the legs from the Monsterella before serving. Then hopefully the tortuous talking heads and putative pundits will move.on.org to something else which will be equally ridiculous but at least will be newish.
TIDBIT: When my nephew Josh was four years old he asked me where I lived. I told him I lived in Pennsylvania. He then asked if there were alot of pen
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